Infidelity is a profound betrayal of trust, and it can be incredibly distressing when it happens in your marriage. It can feel like your entire life has been turned upside down, leaving you wondering how to pick up the pieces and move forward. If you’re dealing with infidelity in your marriage, it can be challenging to know how to react or know what to do. Here are the dos and don’ts of dealing with infidelity in your marriage.

Do: Take some time for yourself.

Dealing with infidelity is incredibly stressful, and you may be feeling a wide range of emotions. It’s important to take some time for yourself to process those feelings and regain some emotional stability. It may also be helpful to speak with a counselor or therapist who can listen to your concerns and help guide you through the healing process.

Don’t: Seek revenge.

While it may be tempting to lash out or seek revenge against your spouse, it’s essential to resist that urge. Doing so will only add to the hurt and pain and cause further damage to the relationship. Instead, focus on healing yourself and the relationship in healthy ways.

Do: Set boundaries.

Infidelity often occurs because there have been some serious boundaries violations in the relationship. Setting clear boundaries with your spouse moving forward is critical in regaining trust and rebuilding the relationship. Be honest about what you need and make a plan together for how you will work to strengthen your marriage.

Don’t: Constantly bring up the affair.

While it’s essential to have open communication, it’s also unhealthy and unproductive to constantly bring up the affair. Continuously rehashing painful details reopens the emotional wound and can make the healing process even more difficult. Instead, focus on rebuilding the relationship, creating positive moments, and working together to move forward.

Do: Work together to rebuild trust.

One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with infidelity is rebuilding trust in the relationship. Be patient and work together to establish trust slowly. Start small and build on your successes. Be consistent and transparent, and follow through on your promises to each other.

Don’t: Blame yourself or carry the weight alone.

Infidelity is not your fault, and it’s not something you need to shoulder alone. Don’t blame yourself or believe that you could have done something to prevent the affair. It’s important to work together as a team to heal and rebuild your relationship. Reach out for support from family and friends, or consider speaking with a counselor who can help you navigate the healing process.

Dealing with infidelity is never easy, but it’s important to remember that it is possible to rebuild a stronger and healthier relationship. By following these dos and don’ts, you and your spouse can work together to heal and rebuild trust one step at a time.