why do cheaters cheat again and again

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Why Do Cheaters Cheat Again and Again?

Cheaters often leave a trail of broken hearts and damaged trust. Many of us are left wondering, “Why do cheaters cheat again and again? Can’t they learn from their past mistakes?” In this article, we will explore the reasons why cheaters keep cheating, and whether or not there is hope for change.

Reasons Why Cheaters Cheat Again and Again

1. Lack of Self-Control

Some people simply cannot control their urges. They crave excitement and novelty, and cheating provides just that. This lack of self-control can lead to a vicious cycle of cheating, where the cheater feels guilty after the fact but eventually gives in to temptation once again.

2. Low Self-Esteem

Cheating can also be a way for someone with low self-esteem to feel desired and validated. By seeking the attention of others, they can momentarily feel better about themselves. However, this feeling is short-lived and only perpetuates their negative self-image.

3. Insecurity

Similar to low self-esteem, insecurity can also drive someone to cheat. They may feel like they are not getting enough attention or affection from their partner and seek it elsewhere. This insecurity can also manifest in jealousy, possessiveness, and controlling behavior.

4. Unmet Needs

Cheating can be a way for someone to fulfill unmet needs in their relationship. Perhaps they feel neglected, unappreciated, or sexually unsatisfied. Instead of communicating these concerns with their partner and working towards a solution, they seek fulfillment from someone else.

5. Thrill-Seeking Behavior

For some, cheating is simply thrilling. The risk of being caught and the excitement of a new experience can be too tempting to resist. This type of behavior is often rooted in boredom or a desire for adventure.

Is There Hope for Change?

While it may seem like cheaters are doomed to repeat their behavior, there is hope for change. It is possible for a cheater to learn from their mistakes, address the underlying issues that led them to cheat, and commit to being faithful in the future.

However, change is not easy and requires a willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions and work towards self-improvement. This can include individual or couples therapy, establishing boundaries and healthy communication in the relationship, and finding new ways to fulfill needs or interests outside of the relationship.


1. Can cheating ever be forgiven?

Forgiveness is a personal decision and varies from person to person. While some may be able to forgive and move forward, others may find it too difficult to trust again.

2. Is it possible to cheat without physical contact?

Yes, emotional infidelity can be just as damaging as physical infidelity. It involves forming emotional connections or engaging in intimate conversations with someone outside of the relationship.

3. Should I stay in a relationship with a cheater?

This is a personal decision and depends on the individual circumstances. It may be possible to work through the betrayal and rebuild trust, but it may also be necessary to end the relationship if the cheating continues or if it is not possible to forgive and move forward.

4. Can couples therapy help with infidelity?

Yes, couples therapy can help address the issues that led to the infidelity and provide tools for rebuilding trust and communication in the relationship. However, both parties must be committed to the process for it to be effective.


Cheating can be a destructive behavior that causes emotional pain and damage to relationships. However, it is important to understand the reasons behind this behavior and whether or not there is hope for change. By addressing the underlying issues and committing to growth and self-improvement, it is possible for a cheater to learn from their mistakes and build healthier relationships in the future.