why does he keep cheating on me

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Why Does He Keep Cheating on Me?

Infidelity is a devastating betrayal that can leave you feeling heartbroken, angry, and confused. Whether you have been together for a few months, a few years or decades, being cheated on can shake the foundation of your relationship and make you question whether you should stay or leave. If you are repeatedly getting cheated on by your partner, you may find yourself asking the question “Why does he keep cheating on me?” In this article, we will explore some of the reasons why cheating occurs and discuss what you can do to move forward.

Reasons for Cheating

1. Lack of Emotional Connection: One of the primary reasons why people cheat is the lack of emotional connection with their partner. While physical attraction may lead to hookups and flings, it is the emotional connection that keeps a relationship strong. Emotional intimacy involves sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your partner, and it builds trust, understanding, and respect within a relationship. When one partner feels disconnected or ignored, they may turn to someone else to fulfill those emotional needs.

2. Need for Variety: Some people get bored easily and crave novelty and excitement. This can lead them to seek out new experiences, new partners, and new adventures outside of their relationship. While some people may be satisfied with the same routine, others require stimulation and change to stay engaged. In some cases, even a happy and fulfilling relationship can be insufficient to keep them satisfied. This can lead them to cheat, either for the thrill of the new experience or to satisfy their need for variety.

3. Low Self-Esteem: Many people who cheat have low self-esteem and self-worth. They may feel unattractive, unloved, or unworthy of their partner and seek validation and affirmation from someone else. Cheating can provide a temporary boost in confidence and self-esteem, but it is ultimately a hollow and short-lived substitute for genuine self-worth.

4. Issues with Commitment: Committing to a relationship involves a level of sacrifice, vulnerability, and trust. Some people may struggle with these aspects of a relationship and feel trapped or suffocated by the idea of permanence. This can lead them to cheat as a way to keep one foot out the door or avoid making a full commitment.

5. Sexual Incompatibility: Sexual compatibility is an essential component of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. When one partner feels unsatisfied or unfulfilled sexually, they may look elsewhere to meet those needs. This is not an excuse to cheat, but it is a significant factor that can contribute to infidelity.

What to Do When You Get Cheated On?

Getting cheated on can be an overwhelming and traumatic experience, but it is crucial to take care of yourself and your emotional wellbeing. Here are some steps to take if you find out that your partner has been cheating on you:

1. Express Your Feelings: You have every right to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. Expressing your feelings is an important step in processing and healing from the experience. Talk to someone you trust, write in a journal, or seek therapy to explore the emotions that come up for you.

2. Decide What You Want: Once you have had time to process your feelings, it is essential to decide what you want for yourself and your relationship. Do you want to try and work through the infidelity and rebuild trust, or is it time to move on? This is a personal decision that only you can make, but it is essential to take the time to reflect and evaluate your options.

3. Communicate with Your Partner: If you decide to stay in the relationship, it is crucial to have an honest and open dialogue with your partner about what happened, why it happened, and how you can work towards rebuilding trust. This conversation can be difficult, but it is necessary to move forward.

4. Set Boundaries: It is essential to set boundaries and expectations for your relationship moving forward. What behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable? What will be the consequences if those boundaries are crossed again? Setting clear guidelines can help rebuild trust and hold your partner accountable.

5. Get Support: Healing from infidelity is a process that takes time, patience and support. Seek out friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the emotions and challenges that come with rebuilding trust.


1. Can a cheater change?

Yes, it is possible for a cheater to change, but it requires a willingness to acknowledge their behavior, take responsibility for their actions, and commit to making changes. It is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what you need from them moving forward.

2. Should I forgive my partner for cheating?

Forgiveness is a personal choice and one that takes time and reflection. It is possible to forgive and move forward from infidelity, but it is important to set boundaries and expectations for the relationship moving forward. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing the behavior, but rather a willingness to let go of the anger and move towards healing.

3. How can I rebuild trust after infidelity?

Rebuilding trust takes time and effort on both sides of the relationship. It is essential to have an open and honest dialogue about the infidelity, set boundaries and expectations for the relationship moving forward, and work towards rebuilding communication, intimacy, and emotional connection. Patience, kindness, and a willingness to be vulnerable are key to rebuilding trust.