why do cheaters keep cheating

Raljo image photo

Why Do Cheaters Keep Cheating?

Infidelity is one of the most devastating experiences a person can go through. Whether the cheating happens in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even in business, it can leave emotional scars that last for years. But, have you ever wondered why do cheaters keep cheating even when they know the pain it causes? In this article, we will explore the reasons behind this behavior and provide some insight for those who have been victims of infidelity.

The Root of the Problem

To understand why someone cheats, it is important to comprehend the underlying reason driving the infidelity. There could be many triggers, such as a lack of intimacy or emotional connection with their partner, feelings of neglect or boredom in the relationship, or even the desire for an emotional boost. Sometimes, the infidelity stems from the cheater’s insecurities, need for validation, or feeling unappreciated. In other cases, the cheater might be struggling with addiction, depression, or other mental health issues.

Whatever the reasons might be, this behavior often leads to guilt and shame in the cheater, which is why they try to keep their affairs hidden. But despite the consequences, some cheaters find it difficult to break free from their patterns of infidelity. They might even go back to cheating multiple times, even when they know the devastating effects it can have on their partner and relationship.

The Psychology behind Cheating

Many studies have suggested that people who cheat might have specific personality traits or psychological factors that influence their decision to deceive. For example, some people have a fear of intimacy, and they may feel more comfortable in situations where they do not need to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone. Others might struggle with impulse control and have trouble resisting temptation.

Furthermore, people who cheat might also have a strong need for attention and validation. They might feel inadequate or unloved in their current relationship and turn to others for affirmation. This desire can be driven by insecurity, low self-esteem, or even a traumatic past experience. Often, cheaters use their additional relationships as a way to escape the pressures they feel within their existing relationship.


Q: Can a cheater really change their ways?

A: It is possible for a cheater to change their ways, but it takes a lot of effort, commitment, and acknowledgment of their behavior. It requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness to work on underlying issues to change their behavior.

Q: Do all cheaters have some kind of personality disorder?

A: Not every cheater has a personality disorder, but some might have a mental health condition or unresolved emotional issues that fuel their desire to cheat.

Q: Can therapy help a cheater overcome their patterns of infidelity?

A: Therapy can be a beneficial component to understand the root of the cheating and work to address the issues. However, it requires the cheater’s willingness and commitment to make changes.

Q: Is it possible to forgive a cheater?

A: Forgiveness is a personal decision, and it varies from person to person. Some individuals may be able to forgive and rebuild trust in their relationship, while for others, the damage caused is too severe to repair.

Q: What are some signs of cheating?

A: Signs of cheating can vary depending on the type of relationship and the individual, but some common signs include secretive behavior, increased phone usage or privacy, frequent absences or excuses, sudden changes in behavior or mood, and lack of intimacy or communication.


Overall, understanding the root of the problem and the psychological factors that influence infidelity is crucial to understanding why cheaters keep cheating. While there is no single answer, it is apparent that individuals cheat for different reasons, and breaking the cycle requires effort and commitment, both from the cheater and their partner. Remember, if you have been affected by infidelity, it is important to talk to a professional and seek support to heal from the emotional trauma it can cause.