why do cheaters try to come back

Raljo image photo

Why Do Cheaters Try to Come Back?

Infidelity is an ugly and hurtful experience for anyone who has ever gone through it. Discovering that your significant other has betrayed your trust by being unfaithful can leave you feeling devastated, humiliated, and lost. But what happens when the cheater realizes the mistake they have made and they want to come back to the relationship? What motivates them to try to fix something they have already broken? In this article, we will examine the possible reasons behind cheaters trying to come back and whether or not it’s worth considering giving them a second chance.

Possible Reasons for the Return of the Cheater

1. Guilt:

One of the primary reasons a cheater might want to come back is that they feel guilty for their actions. The weight of their infidelity and the pain they caused their partner can become too much to bear, and they may feel the need to atone for their mistakes. This guilt can be genuine or self-serving, as some people will try to come back not because they are sorry but because they can’t handle the consequences of their actions.

2. Fear:

The fear of loneliness or being alone forever can drive some cheaters to try to come back to their partners. They may realize that their actions have cost them the most important thing in their life and they don’t want to be alone. Fear can also come from the realization that their partner may move on and be happy with someone else.

3. Love:

It’s possible that the cheater has realized how much they do love and care for their partner. They may have made a mistake out of fear, guilt, or selfishness, but in the aftermath of their actions, they realize how much they value the relationship. In this case, the cheater may try to come back out of a genuine desire to work things out.

4. Convenience:

There are cases where cheaters try to come back not out of love or guilt, but out of convenience. Perhaps they found that the grass wasn’t as green on the other side, and they realize that going back to their partner will be easier than starting a new relationship. In these cases, the motivation for the return is superficial and not driven by emotion.

Is it Worth Giving Them a Second Chance?

There’s no definite answer to this question as every situation is different. However, if you’re considering giving your partner a second chance, there are a few things you should think about:

1. Have they shown genuine remorse for their actions?

If the cheater comes back to you with genuine remorse, it may be an indication that they are willing to make amends for their mistakes. However, if they’re only sorry because they got caught or are trying to avoid the consequences of their actions, you must think twice before considering reconciliation.

2. Can you forgive and move past it?

One of the most important things to consider is whether you can forgive your partner’s infidelity and move past it. If the thought of their betrayal is too much to bear and makes you feel resentful, it may not be worth trying to work things out.

3. Is it worth the risk?

Even if your partner is genuinely sorry and you can forgive them, it doesn’t mean that the relationship will be the same as it was before. If you decide to give them another chance, you need to be prepared to take the risk that the same thing might happen again.


Q: How can I tell if my partner is genuinely sorry for their actions?

A: Genuine remorse is shown through active listening, taking responsibility for their actions, apologizing, and making a genuine effort to prove their dedication to fixing the relationship. If your partner is making excuses, blaming you for their actions, or showing little effort to make amends, they may not be genuinely sorry.

Q: Should I give my partner a second chance?

A: This decision ultimately depends on your values, needs, and priorities. Infidelity is a complex issue and only you can decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not. It’s important to weigh the pros and cons and be honest with yourself about whether you’re willing to take a risk.

Q: How can I rebuild trust after infidelity?

A: Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. It involves open and honest communication, taking responsibility for your actions, making amends, and setting clear boundaries in the relationship. Couples therapy may also be helpful in facilitating the process.


When a cheater tries to come back, the motivations can vary. It’s essential to consider whether it’s worth taking the risk of reconciling and whether your partner’s remorse is genuine. Rebuilding trust and moving past infidelity is a difficult and complex process that requires time, effort, and commitment. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether the relationship is worth fighting for.