why they keep cheating

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Why They Keep Cheating: The Complex Psychology Behind Infidelity

Cheating is not a new phenomenon. People have been engaging in extramarital affairs and cheating on their partners since the dawn of time. However, with the rise of technology and social media, it has become easier than ever to cheat on your partner. So why do people do it? And why do they keep doing it?

The psychology behind cheating is complex and multifaceted. It can stem from a variety of underlying issues, including emotional dissatisfaction, boredom, a desire for validation, and even addiction. Here, we’ll explore some of the most common reasons people cheat and the factors that keep them coming back for more.

The Most Common Reasons People Cheat

1. Emotional Dissatisfaction: One of the most common reasons people cheat is emotional dissatisfaction. When people feel neglected, unappreciated, or emotionally unfulfilled in their current relationship, they may seek out an affair to fill that void. They may crave the emotional connection and attention they feel they are missing from their partner.

2. Boredom: Another common reason people cheat is simply boredom. They may feel as though their current relationship has become stale and predictable, and they crave the excitement and novelty of a new fling.

3. Validation: Some people cheat because they crave validation and attention from multiple partners. They want to feel desired and attractive, and they seek out affairs to fulfill those needs.

4. Addiction: For some individuals, cheating can become an addiction, just like any other addictive behavior. They may feel a rush of adrenaline from the thrill of the affair and find themselves unable to stop, even when they know it’s wrong.

Why They Keep Doing It

Once someone has started cheating, it can be difficult to stop. Here are some of the factors that keep people coming back for more:

1. Entitlement: When people start cheating, they may begin to feel entitled to the excitement, attention, and emotional fulfillment that come with an affair. Even if they know it’s wrong, they may convince themselves that they deserve it.

2. Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem may rely on the validation they receive from multiple partners to feel good about themselves. They may feel as though they are not worthy of love and affection from just one person, and seek out affairs to fill that void.

3. Fear of Disconnection: For some people, the fear of being alone or losing their partner can be so strong that they continue to cheat, even though they know it will inevitably lead to the end of their relationship.

4. Lack of Self-Control: Finally, some people simply lack the self-control necessary to resist the temptation of an affair. They may know it’s wrong, but feel powerless to stop themselves.


Q: Is cheating always a sign of an unhappy relationship?

A: Not necessarily. While many people cheat because they are unhappy in their current relationship, others may cheat for other reasons, such as a desire for novelty, validation, or a thrill.

Q: Can a person who has cheated ever be trusted again?

A: It’s possible, but it takes a lot of work. The person who cheated must be willing to take responsibility for their actions, work to regain their partner’s trust, and make a conscious effort to change their behavior.

Q: Is it ever worth forgiving someone who has cheated on you?

A: That depends on the individual and the circumstances of the cheating. Forgiveness can be a powerful and healing act, but it’s not always easy to do. Ultimately, it’s up to the person who was cheated on to decide whether or not to forgive their partner.

Q: Can therapy help someone who struggles with infidelity?

A: Yes, therapy can be very helpful for individuals who struggle with infidelity. It can help them understand the underlying issues that lead to their behavior, learn coping mechanisms for dealing with temptation, and improve their communication and relationship skills.

In conclusion, cheating is a complex phenomenon that can be the result of a variety of underlying issues. While it’s never okay to betray your partner’s trust, it’s important to remember that there are often deeper reasons behind someone’s decision to cheat. Understanding these factors can help both the cheater and their partner work towards a healthier relationship.